An Instagram aesthetic photo that has floated through the feeds and stories of people I follow Has always resonated with me
but this time I feel personally convicted
To share a story from my childhood that I always share with close friends
About the times my grandmother let me be me
For some reason with her I had no boundaries (and I still don’t. I cuss and she’ll laugh or reach to try and literally swat my ass)
And as a child when I had choices to make about my identity or gender she always let
Me choose me
In the south it’s not odd for people to cling to the written word so hard that they can’t accept those who don’t fit within the margins of “right”
But not My grandmother
There’s one recurring example of what I’m talking about that will fundamentally speak volumes for what a small act of acceptance and love can do to you.
We pull up to the drivethru and I hop into the very back of her big van so no one working the window
Can see me
She orders me the kids meal and they respond with
Girl or boy toy
She turns her head and smiles back at me and I whisper “girl toy”
Once in the clear I take my seat back in the front safe and free of judgement from anyone in public or sitting next to me.
She never cared or was scared about or by anything I did that showed how feminine I was. I cared. I was scared. But around her I was the most true to myself I would allow me to be.
You’d be surprised at the pivotal moments you create and existences you shake by just loving someone by knowing not just who they are but how they are operating in this weird complicated world we are all trying to be happy in.
So if you’re queer , Happy Pride
And also to my grandmother and other allies.
Because when you let your loved ones be themselves they’ll never have to hide themselves from people sitting next to them
Or anywhere
Let boys be feminine.